Stop Think Breathe
by PorcelainsPuppy
Summary: Kurt Hummel has suffered from serious anxiety and mental breakdowns for almost all his life. Because of this he is sent away to Canton Lake, home to the mentally ill for psychotherapy. He expected the strict rules, no communication from family or friends, and even the terrible food, what he didn't expect was to have his entire life changed by one mysterious man in a fishing boat.
1. Chapter 1

Bright purple flowers bursting from almost every tree around every corner, the cool feeling of lake water hitting his bare skin, Thomas, Clara,

and then there was Blaine, those were the things he would miss when he left Canton.

The list of things he had been missing since he got there was much bigger. His dad, Carole, Finn, Lionel the cat, Sunday morning tea with Mrs. Glinsdale, his wardrobe, his books.

But even the warm embrace of his father after a long month of separation couldn't take away the pain he felt when he realized he would never see Blaine again.

Never hear that laugh or feel those lips upon his pale hands. Never look outside his window and see the curly-haired man pulling a dinky little row-boat to shore. It was enough to make his heart bleed.

Surprisingly enough, Kurt didn't feel the least bit anxious or worried. He just felt darkened. Like a man who's seen his future and knows he cannot change it.

Burt could tell something was different as soon as he opened the door to let his son in the car. When he drove to this place what felt like ages ago Kurt was broken but full of promise, a promise that maybe this place would finally be the answer, that they could fix him. Now it seemed they almost had fixed him in a way. His skin was reddened from exposure to sunlight, the dark circles under his eyes were gone and he held an air of peaceful longing about him, something that Burt had never seen on his boy, as opposed to his usual blank expression.

Kurt sat still in the car without tapping his feet or bouncing his knees and looked out the window, waiting for his father to start the car.

"What's the matter sport? You gonna miss this place after all?" Burt turned the mirror to see Kurt's face. His son managed a smile and nodded. "So do ya think it helped at all? How do you feel?" By now Burt twisted himself around to look his son in the eyes. What stared back at him were familiar brilliant blues and greens held in mysterious swirls of cloudiness but Burt was accustomed to that look from as far back as the time he first met Elizabeth. Kurt cleared his throat.

"Can we talk more at home? I just really want to go home. I miss Carole's cooking." Burt smiled and lifted his heavy, concerned glare from the seventeen year old. Burt revved the engine, and wrapped his arm around the seat turning his head to look out the back window.

"The hell...?" Kurt, confused, turned to follow his father's eyes. His breath caught in his throat.

It was the boat boy. It was his boat boy. It was Blaine.

The dark-haired teen wore a ratty gray t-shirt and ripped jeans. His curls were in disarray and tears streamed down his face. He stood directly behind the car preventing Burt from moving any farther out of the parking lot. Said man threw open the door and slammed it shut behind him.

The next thing Kurt saw was his father interrogating the man and Blaine trying desperately not to get distracted by the sight of Kurt in the back seat of the car as he explained his situation. Burt motioned toward the car and Blaine hesitated before opening the door.

"Hi." Blaine sat down on the seat next to Kurt and pulled the door closed. He wiped at his face.

"You're crying." Kurt stated.

"I was crying. I do that on occasion, but I'm with you now so I don't need to anymore." Blaine put a hand on Kurt's leg as he spoke. He looked away to see if his father was watching them. Sure enough the man was leaning against the car door window on the driver's side with his back toward the boys, adjusting the rear view mirrors to see what was happening.

"Look your dad gave me a time limit, apparently he isn't used to random guys in hysterics begging to talk to his son, but what I really wanted to say Kurt is that I don't want it to end like this. I wont let it end like this. I'm in love with you and I can't just let you leave here and never see you again. Say something... please so I know what you're thinking."

Kurt's mind was spinning. He didn't anticipate this. This was not supposed to happen. Blaine was supposed to stay away until they were long gone. How could Kurt have let this happen? Any of this. He was running out of time before Blaine spoke again. Before his father told Blaine to take a hike.

But it all began that way, so it only made sense for things to end the same.

One Month Earlier:

To Be Continued


	2. Chapter 2

"Dr. Prince will see you now Kurt." Clara, a volunteer at the home, poked her red-headed mop in his room.

Kurt didn't want to see another doctor. He wanted to race outside and jump in his father's truck before he drove away. But it had been a good twenty minutes since he arrived and Kurt suspected that wouldn't be a great idea for his anxiety. Even thinking about it made his heart race. Ever since he got to Canton Home his nerves were on edge. The unknown was his greatest fear and Kurt Hummel knew nothing about mental hospitals. Nobody ever considered him crazy enough to stay at one. Until now.

The room was small and plain with little color and no form of entertainment to be seen. Kurt had made himself comfortable on the window bench, long legs stretched out in front of him, gazing out the window, and tapping his fingers along the seat.

A small black and white spider was busy at work outside his window. Weaving its silvery tapestry, the spider was blissfully unaware of a danger approaching. A smaller spider with longer, thinner legs began to weave beside its new friend. The second spider was much less frightening than the first but Kurt couldn't help feeling the daddy-long-leg was far more threatening.

"Kurt, the doctor would love it if you could join him for a moment. I'm Clara by the way." she gestured to name tag resting on her pale blue sweater, "This shouldn't take very long. Just between you and me," by now the lady pushed her whole body into the room, "the guy should be relax a lot more and work a lot less but he insists on greeting all the new patients in his office as soon as they arrive. Come along Dear."

Kurt moved reluctantly to follow the woman. He already disliked her. She seemed pretentious and nosy. Plus she tried to put her arm around him as she lead him down the hallway. As if.

Knock, knock, knock. Clara peeked her head into the door of Dr. TJ Prince's office before he could invite them in.

"Sir, I brought Kurt Hummel here for..."

"Thank you Clara, that will be all." Dr. Prince spun around in his chair. Kurt immediately became a million times more nervous. The man didn't look anything like a doctor, much less a prince. Maybe the prince of surfing. The man had white blond hair and clear turquoise eyes filled with confidence. He was also muscular and tan but he fidgeted in his chair like a hyperactive teenage boy.

"Hi, I'm Doctor Prince but you can just call me TJ." The man reached across his desk and shook Kurt's hand softly, "I'll be checking in on you from time to time. So Kurt, tell me why you're here at Canton, where you would rather be, and how you think we can help you." Dr. Prince looked straight into Kurt's eyes as if he already knew the answer to all of those questions but he deeply wanted to hear them from him.

Kurt felt cold and nauseous. Attractive men always made him nervous but this guy was more than that.

"Uh... I guess I'm here because my family is worried about me. They couldn't handle my ... episodes any longer." Kurt scanned the room for another exit, finding none he settled his eyes on the gorgeous man in front of him. "As for where I'd rather be I would say home obviously because I don't know any of you and no offense but this place smells like old people and depression. Also good luck trying to 'help' I don't even really know what's wrong with me."

The entire time Kurt spoke Dr. Prince listened intently, usually this was where people wrote down a bunch of stuff on a clipboard or something.

"Well it seems we have our work cut out for us then. Thank you for being honest Kurt. I look forward to seeing your progress." The doctor sat forward in his chair and folded his hands on the desk.

"That's it? No 'tell me about your past' junk or 'here's how we cure you' speech? What are you running here a day-care center or a mental hospital?" Kurt was upset now and that usually lead to bad things.

But Dr. Prince just smiled in return. "If you think it's junk why would I waste your time? I have a file that tells me everything I need to know about how to help you. That's what we run here at Canton, a place for people like you who just need a little time and someone to listen to them. By the end of your stay if your family still doesn't feel safe around you we haven't done our job."

"How long is my stay exactly?"

"However long it needs to be. Remember that. Goodbye Kurt, hope to see you bright and early tomorrow morning at breakfast." Dr. Prince stood up and opened the door for Kurt.

It was a good thing he remembered the way back because Clara was nowhere to be seen, nor was anybody else for that matter. Kurt found it odd that not a single person was outside their room during the middle of the day. He figured it was a good indication of what he had ahead of him, a good month or two of solitude. In a way that was a good thing. Maybe exactly what he needed. But on the other hand he hated being lonely.

Kurt reached his room and laid down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. What had he done to deserve this? A million scenes flashed through his mind answering that question. His room in complete disarray, Carole's broken nose, the horrified faces of his classmates as he screamed at the top of his lungs.

Still, they could have just put him on more pills. Clearly six was not enough.

Just then Kurt remembered his friends the spiders. He got up quickly and pulled the curtains back to reveal the window.

In the corner where he left them sat the two spiders. Only now the creepy black one was wrapped up in web, completely still. The other spider danced around it weaving and stopping every now and again to admire it's work.

Kurt laid his head against the window and closed his eyes. A small tear rolled down his face and disappeared somewhere in the neckline of his shirt.

"Goodnight Dad. Goodnight Carole. Goodnight Finn. I love you."


End file.
